TROPHEX

www.trophex.com

In a conversation on Twitter the other morning, following my bewilderment at yet again being overlooked for a BAFTA nomination, @mangowe drew my attention to the world of trophy manufacture.

It's surprisingly difficult to find out much about the trophy industry. Not because any conscious secrecy on their part, but just because Googling various combinations of the words "awards" and "manufacturing" and "trophies" and "design" tends just to bring up awards for manufacturing or trophies for design.

There are lots of companies which supply awards, but they're all quite small, and I don't know - don't get me wrong, I'd be pleased to win ANY award - but if I found out my eg Britain's Loveliest Man award had been bought from a company called Better Trophies Better Prices ("If you're looking for better trophies at better prices you've found them!"), I wouldn't be so thrilled.

Anyway, Trophex. You might be thinking "Why should attend?" Well, as the Trophex website explains:

Trophex is the dedicated trophy, award and personalisation exhibition in the UK.

The show is free to attend and there’s free parking.

Well, those are quite convincing reasons.

Looks like news is a bit slow, with the next Trophex show not until January. Reports of the 2009 show sound positive though:

As always Trophex is very well attended and Sunday especially saw a vast number of trophy retailers visit the show. Martin Lakin from Timbertown Trophies in Woodville near Burton-on-Trent has only missed one Trophex in the last 10 years. He regularly visits the show to see the new range of products that are coming out. The show is also a great opportunity to find new areas to expand his business into, 70% of which is in motor racing, so he combines his visit to Trophex with a visit to the Autosport International exhibition which takes place at the NEC Birmingham at the same time.

I recognise this point is slightly weakened by the fact that I've copied and pasted this paragraph, but why would anyone, other than possibly Martin Lakin's wife, be interested in any of that?

Working in the trophy industry means always being the bridesmaid and never the bride. There doesn't appear to be a trophy designer of the year award. There's no trophy manufacturer of the year. I guess this is just because they could never figure out who should design the award. You'd get yourself into one of those strange loops that don't make sense, like the plot of the first Terminator film or something.

I think this is possibly the greatest title for a technical document ever.

YKK

www.ykkeurope.com

I've often wondered what the letters YKK stand for. You always see it on zips. YKK. "What does that stand for", I've wondered. Well, now I know. It stands for Yoshida Kogyo Kabushikikaisha. I think I'll stick with calling them YKK.

YKK don't just make zips. They also make snaps, buttons, adjusters, buckles, ball chains, elastic tapes, cord stoppers, cord ends, hooks, holders and rings. But they're best known for zips. The names of the different types of zips they make are brilliant:

EXCELLA - High-end luxury zipper with individual polished zipper elements.
EVERBRIGHT - Glossed polished zipper elements.
LUMINA - Part of the Excella series. Same finish as standard Excella but utilises aluminium element. Aluminium provides strength as well as being extremely lightweight.
PROSEAL - The water tight and airtight zipper range.
YZIP - The Y Zip is designed specifically for jeans wear. Y- Zip is available in different sizes and finishes.
AQUAGUARD - The water repellent zipper range mainly used for outwear and luggage.
CONCEAL - Invisible (hidden) zipper elements.
FINGUARD - Fins on the zipper element reduce the risk of a slider catching on the garment.
FLATKNIT - The zipper element is knitted directly onto the tape. Flatknit can be used on even thin & stretchy fabrics.
GRADATION- A variety of colour variations are possible by utilising combinations of rainbow coloured sewing thread.
METALLION - The metal coloured coil-plated zipper range.
MINIFA - Size 0. The world’s smallest zipper!
QUICKBURST - The zipper has been designed to open via the QuickBurst elements and close like a normal zipper. Allowing things to burst in and out of the zipper!
VISLON - The plastic element zipper range.
GRAPHIC - Graphic is a concealed zipper which uses jacquard woven tape. Graphic is available for design customisation.
LUMIFINE - Glow-in-the-dark zippers and fastening products.
NATULON - Environmentally friendly zippers made from recycled material.
PRIFA - Ink jet printed zipper tape. Any pattern, colour or logo can be created using computer graphics.
ReEARTH - The environment-conscious zipper made from biodegradable plastic.

They all sound amazing, although I can't help but feel that the exclamation mark at the end of the description ofr the Quickburst zip is slightly inappropriate.

QUICKBURST - The zipper has been designed to open via the QuickBurst elements and close like a normal zipper. Allowing things to burst in and out of the zipper!

That just sounds wrong. I can imagine there are situations where you'd want things to burst out of the zipper, but don't sound so enthusiastic about it.

I like the sound of YKK's founder, Tadao Yoshida. He developed a "cycle of goodness" based on the philosophy that "no-one prospers unless he helps bring prosperity to others":



In the 75 years since Tadao Yoshida founded the company however, it seems this philosophy may have been forgotten. In 2007, YKK were fined €150.3m for running a price fixing cartel and sharing information with other companies.

However, as you can see from the Social and Environmental Report 2008:

The YKK Group seeks to be a corporation that is recognized as "a company that can be trusted," "a truly international company" and "a company with technology for the creation of new value." We will continue to pursue our business activities with these goals. For this reason, as we strengthen our corporate governance systems, we intend to enhance our legal compliance efforts and work to fulfill the responsibilities of a good corporate citizen.

You tell 'em, Tadahiro!

RESIN FLOORING ASSOCIATION

www.ferfa.org.uk

Why do all these associations insist on cheating with their acronyms? I can see where FeRFA get the RFA from. Resin Flooring Association. But what's the Fe all about? Maybe they're just fans of early Talking Heads. Ferfa ferfa fa ferfa fa fa fa.

It's extraordinary to imagine that FeRFA is the only organisation dedicated to resin flooring. You'd think there'd be dozens. Considering their unique status, they must get lots of people taking them up on their offer of of "free advice on all aspects of Resin Flooring, including specification and problem solving", so it's understandable that to try to improve service, they'd have a Frequently Asked Questions page.

I wonder how frequently they're asked some of these questions.

Q4. I have just had a PU screed installed and noticed that the flint aggregate is becoming more visible.

Just how many people are installing PU screeds and noticing that the flint aggregate is becoming more noticeable and then contacting FeRFA for advice? That seems like quite a specific question. Much more so than "Do I need a primer?".

If you are planning to install a resin floor, FeRFA provide a simple guide to the different types available and how suitable each type is for differing levels of usage. Floor seal seems RUBBISH. Even with just light duty usage, it only lasts 1-2 years, it's liable to impact damage, osmosis may occur, it's not that easy to clean, it's not suitable for food processing areas, it's easy to slip on and looks like it creates a bit of static. Fuck floor seal, it's an idiot.

Some of the floors on the gallery pages look lovely though. Like this from Ryebrook Resin:



I also like this all-in-one, wrapped wall/floor effect from Altro:



I hope the ceiling has the same finish too. That mirror frame looks a bit out of place though.

And there's something deeply beautiful about this picture:

THE GROCER

www.thegrocer.co.uk

Oh my. I think I'm addicted. Seriously. Every week for the last two months or so, I've bought The Grocer. I can't explain why. It makes no sense. It's a trade magazine for food and drink retailers, I work for a DVD distribution company. I should be reading Media Week, or Broadcast, or something like that. Not this. But if I see a headline like "AS MANY AS 50% OF ASDA'S 5,000 NEW ROLLBACKS OFFER JUST A 1p SAVING" or "WHY APPLE PRICES ARE DOWN 20% YEAR-ON-YEAR", sorry, but I've got to buy that magazine.

The current issue is especially good. They do special pull-out guides once a month I guess (the last one was about hot beverages). In this issue, there's a guide to confectionery. It's got Mr T on the front. Mr T says:

Listen up suckers, did you know:

• MARS is the No.1 manufacturer in sales of 'hunger' lines with 59% value share
  
• The hunger category is big and growing
  
• 'Hunger' is the 2nd largest needstate with sales of over £250m
  
• Multifacings of the best sellers (eg Mars, Snickers, Twix) will deliver more sales than 1 facing of a slower seller

I didn't know any of that, Mr T. Well, possibly the last one.

To be honest, I never realised how knowledgable Mr T was when it comes to this sort of thing. You've got to admire the way he has all these figures at his bejwelled fingertips.

The Grocer's Guide To Confectionery contains what is without doubt the clunkiest, clumsiest, most desperate, most awkward linking paragraph I have ever read in my life. Let me set the scene. Talking about Nestlé's advertising proposals for the coming year, journalist David Burrows then seeks a way to link that to the new Mikado product recently launched in the UK by Kraft. This is how he does it:

It's been another impressive year for KitKat with sales up over 30% to £94m. Buyers suggest Nestlé has "got its house in order" with the brand now, having improved the focus. The launch of KitKat Senses, fronted by the Girls Aloud babes, has also given the brand that Something Kinda Oooooh.

Britain's most popular girl brand was, of course, discovered on TV show "Popstars: The Rivals". And now, "their biscuit" could have a rival, of sorts, on the confectionery shelves with Kraft foods having just launched a "unique chocolate biscuit snack specifically designed for on-the-go customers".

Christ. I'm not claiming the rubbish I write on this bloody blog is any better, but, you know, I'm doing this for free. Fuck knows why.

The same article also contains sentence which, well, I wouldn't want to suggest it's a deliberate lie, so maybe it's better just to say it demonstrates a slightly absurd overconfidence in the accuracy of their figures:

Nestlé has promised £7m to its Aero brand and treble that for KitKat. In fact, shoppers are unlikely to have a break from advertising for the iconic brand with the series of "Perfect Break" ads set to be seen by 99.9% of the target audience 53 times in 2009.

How on earth can it be possible to make a statement with that degree of accuracy?

And then, within this very same article, there's a spectacularly inane comment from Craig Barker, sales director at Ferrero:

Boxed chocolate remains a strong category despite tough economic times. The amount of disposable income may diminish, but key gifting occasions such as birthdays, Christmas, Valentine's and Easter will continue, as will the propensity of the consumer to gift at these key times.

Brilliant. He's basically saying "there are still times when people will give chocolates to other people as presents and at these times when people will give chocolates to other people as presents, they will give chocolates as presents". Thanks for that, Craig.

Anyway, despite all this, and even only looking at the confectionery guide, I like learning all the specialist phrases used in industries like this. The "hunger" "needstate". "Multi-facings". "Impulse sub-section". "Pouch format". "Large-block"

Possibly The Grocer doesn't really qualify for this blog. It's a trade magazine, not a trade association, and their website doesn't offer much more than the print version so it's not like I'm concentrating on that either. But, so what? It's my blog. I can write what I want.

SCENTAIR

http://www.scentair.com/index.html

I can't remember how I heard about Scentair. Someone must have written about it somewhere, I doubt I would have just googled "scent marketing" or "fragrance systems" or "aroma diffusion" because I have no idea what those things are. They sound quite good though.

Irritatingly for me, because of the way their website is built, I can't copy and paste huge chunks of text from the Scentair site as I would normally do at this point. I'd guess there aren't a huge amount of people who would want to copy and paste huge chunks of text from the Scentair websites to their pointless blogs, so it's probably not a major inconvenience on a global scale, but it's a bit annoying for me. It means I have to type stuff. I hate typing stuff. So, if I have to type particularly long paragraphs of text from the Scentair website, I might be forced to insert swear words into the text. Sorry about that.

Anyway, according to their About Us section:

Scentair is the global leader of scent marketing solutions. Our patented systems help enhance environments, communicate brands and create memorable experiences. We give our clients the tools to sculpt their own unique environment, completing their customers' experience by engaging memory and emotions through the sense of smell. Tits.

I added that last word.

Anyway, basically, what they do is they install industrial scale Ambi-pur plug ins. But instead of just rubbish old "soft linen" or "aromatic wood", Scentair offer a much more impressive selection of fragrances:

Fresh
Ocean
Fresh Air
Fresh linen
South Sea Island
Island Breeze
Ocean Mist
Sagebrush
Innocent
Vanilla Grapefruit
Lemon Balm
Fresh Outdoors
Coconut Beach
Lavender Vanilla

OK, yeah. They all sound nice. "Fresh Outdoors", "Vanilla Grapefruit", "Ocean Mist". Lovely.

Environmental
Orange Blossom
Juniper Aloe
Herbal Mist
Green Tea & Lemongrass
Ocean
Tobacco Shop
Siberian Fir
Leather
French Vanilla
Redwood Forest
Sagebrush
Evergreen Forest

Again, they seem nice. "Orange Blossom", "Green Tea & Lemongrass", "French Vanilla". Mmmm.

Floral
Jasmine
Roses
Wildflower
Lavender
White Gardenia
Lilacs
Honeysuckle
Mimosa
Rose Garden
Herbal Mist
Summer Blossoms
Autumn Mums
Fragrant Magnolia

"Autumn Mums"? That doesn't sound very nice.

Food & Drink
Birthday Cake
Sugar Cookie
Chocolate Chip Cookie
Gingerbread
Glazed donut
Waffle Cone
Cinnamon Buns
Hot Apple Pie
Cinnamon,
Oatmeal Raisin Cookie
French Bread
Fresh Brewed Coffee
Spiced Apple Cider
Hot Chocolate
Pink Lemonade
Mochaccino
Peppermint

OK, that sounds better. None of that "Autumn Mums" nonsense. I like how specific they're able to be as well. Birthday cake, not any other type of cake. Three different types of cookies. Don't cookies, and indeed most biscuits, smell more or less the same?

Holiday
Peppermint
Spiced Apple Cider
Chocolate
Gingerbread
Dark Chocolate
Holiday Nights
Winter Blue
Ice Show
Evergreen Forest
Noel

Oh god, I hope they mean Noël as in "the first Noël/the angels did say". I don't want to imagine what this smells like. Now SMELL THIS, Wealdon District Council.

Simulation
Engine Exhaust
Dinosaur Breath
Gunpowder
Musty
Earth
Fresh Cut Grass
Sulfurous Volcano
Burning Rubber
Diesel Exhaust
Oily Machinery
Dinosaur Dung
Skunk
Wood Fire

They've just run out of ideas now, haven't they? "Musty"? Why would you want something to smell musty? And "Dinosaur Breath" I could just about accept, though how anyone knows what it smells like, I have no idea. I'd imagine dinosaurs have quite nice breath. Clifford managed to pull and he was a dragon, so surely a dinosaur's breath would be similar but just less smoky? Anyway, as I say, maybe I can accept "Dinosaur Breath", but surely, no-one wants to experience the smell of "Dinosaur Dung". Or "Skunk" for that matter. Skunks are only famous for one thing and that's for being proper stinkers. No-one wants that.

THE ERGONOMICS SOCIETY

http://www.ergonomics.org.uk/

Probably the most interesting subject I did at school was Design Technology. Not actually making stuff, although I kind of enjoyed that (and still do in fact) but design theory - history of the teapot type stuff.

It was partly due to my teacher I guess, who as you can see here scored an excellent five out of five on RateMyTeachers.com. He was an odd man, the sort of person who would be described anachronistically as a confirmed bachelor. Anyway, I quite liked his quiet manner, his obsession with neatness, his carefully ordered stationery cupboard. One thing about him I had completely forgotten about until I typed that last sentence was when we did technical drawing, we used these trays which had all the equipment we needed - set squares, protractors, rulers, differently graded pencils etc etc etc. At the end of each class, he insisted every put the equipment back in the trays in exactly the same way, the ruler had to go on one particular side, the set square on the other, the eraser in one corner. "I want it A1 tidy" he'd say, which I don't even think is a proper phrase, but he'd say it anyway.

Anyway, one thing which I particularly found interesting was ergonomics. Visual displays, information design, anthropometry, motion studies. I liked learning about the 5th and 95th percentiles:

First, notice that the graph is symmetrical – so that 50% of people are of average height or taller, and 50% are of average height or smaller. The graph tails off to either end, because fewer people are extremely tall or very short. To the left of the average, there is a point known as the 5th percentile, because 5% of the people (or 1 person in 20) is shorter than this particular height. The same distance to the right is a point known as the 95th percentile, where only 1 person in 20 is taller than this height.

Usually, you will find that if you pick the right percentile, 95% of people will be able to use your design. For instance, if you were choosing a door height, you would choose the dimension of people's height (often called 'stature' in anthropometry tables) and pick the 95th percentile value – in other words, you would design for the taller people. You wouldn't need to worry about the average height people, or the 5th percentile ones – they would be able to fit through the door anyway.

There's something kind of comforting about the idea that there's a whole industry dedicated to making sure that most of the time, most people find things easy to use, comfortable to use. It's like someone's taking care of us. And they're doing it with some numbers and a graph.

I think I also like ergonomics because it's one of those crossroad areas of study. It's a bit of maths, a bit of physiology, a bit of psychology, a bit of engineering, a bit of sociology. Also, it's quite boring, which appeals to me. Plus, of course, images like this are clearly just fantastic:


Brilliant.

I'd quite like to go to this:

Must have been Designed by a Man!
21 April 2009, London
A 'breakfast meeting' will be hosted by CCD Design & Ergonomics Ltd. The theme will be "Everyday items exhibiting 'good' and 'bad' ergonomics". Presentations will be centred on familiar and unknown examples of everyday objects and their ergonomic qualities. We hope to answer questions such as: 'how well have these items succeeded in the market place?' and 'has ergonomics affected this success or failure?'

Although, well, it would probably be a bit weird if I went. It would be loads of ergonomics professionals and maybe a few students or whatever and maybe some engineers and designers, people like that. And me.

BRITISH EGG INFORMATION SERVICE

http://www.britegg.co.uk/

For over thirty years, health organisations have warned that people should limit the number of eggs they eat to only three week . However, this limit has now been lifted! As Professor Bruce Griffin, Professor of Nutritional Metabolism from the University of Surrey, says "The UK public do not need to be limiting the number of eggs they eat" Fantastic news! Eggs all round! Let's party! These eggs certainly seem pleased by the news.

I'm sure that following this great news, you are, like me, now planning an all egg diet. If so, you'd probably want some ideas for recipes. The British Egg Information Service has lots of recipes. They've also got a Youtube channel.
This is how to boil an egg:



That's fairly straightforward. I think most people agree on how to boil an egg, though I suppose there's a bit of debate over whether you should put the egg in cold water and bring to the boil or boil the water first and then add the egg. That's nothing compared with the number of different ways to poach an egg. This is the British Egg Information Service's method. She uses the rolling boil/egg in a cup method. Gordon Ramsay has a similar method but uses a whisk to "gain some momentum in the water". He also plunges his cooked egg into iced water. Isn't it a bit gross the way he holds the poached egg at the end? I keep thinking he's going to squeeze it and spray egg yolk all over his craggy, antique oak face. It seems wrong holding a poached egg like that. Rob Manuel from B3TA tested various egg poaching methods and having tried the clingfilm method, I agree with his findings.

But what if you're just too lazy to boil or poach an egg and don't really fancy Bowie-in-Berlin style raw eggs? Thankfully, the British Egg Products Association are on hand.

Egg products are used as ingredients by food manufacturers and caterers to save time, money and hassle, without neglecting quality or food safety responsibilities. There are an incredible amount of egg products available on the market today, if you can think of a way for egg to be sold then it probably exists. Eggs are available in liquid, frozen and dried forms. Also available are "value added" egg products such as boiled eggs, scotch eggs, fried eggs and omelettes and ready-to-use scrambled eggs and sandwich fillings.

Ready made fried eggs! Brilliant!

Unfortunately, egg products seem to be mainly aimed at food manufacturers and caterers rather than the end consumer and so aren't available in supermarkets. Although Sainsburys sell packs of shelled hard boiled eggs for just £1.99 for four. That's handy, because I'm sure there must have been lots of times in the past when you've been out and about, doing the shopping or going to meet friends or whatever and you fancied eating four hard boiled eggs, but couldn't so you just had to starve. Well, no longer! And you can wash it all down with a lovely carton of egg white from Eggnation.

I wrote all that without making a single egg pun.

CLOWNS INTERNATIONAL

www.clowns-international.co.uk

When I was about ten, I stayed a friend's house and watched a film called Clownhouse. We got it from the local video shop, Take One Video it was called. It closed down probably about ten years ago and has since been replaced by the One Stop Party Shop. Considering the shop no longer exists, it really is of no benefit to me to be able to remember that our membership number was 9133. Take One Video had a wonderful system where they would let young children rent 15 or 18 certificate films if they could provide a note from their parents saying it was OK. I say "from their parents", although obviously the kids just wrote the notes themselves.

So, we were ten years old. We had a fake note allowing us to watch ANY film in the whole of Take One Video. We chose Clownhouse.



It's about three psychopaths who escape from the local mental institution and disguise themselves as clowns and stalk three teenage brothers who have been left alone for the weekend by their parents. Every slasher movie box is ticked there, well done. One possible improvement would have been to have teenage girls rather than young boys, although I now understand why director Victor Salva chose young male protagonists.

We stayed up very late and turned off all the lights and put the film on. At one particularly scary moment, I I carefully slid off my chair and crawled over behind where my friend was sitting and jumped out just when the spooky music told me too. It was very funny.

The point of all this is to address the myth that clowns are scary. Clowns aren't scary. It's just escaped psychopaths disguised as clowns that are scary. They weren't really clowns, they were just disguised as clowns. Just like Pennywise isn't really a clown, he's just a demonic being in the form of a clown. And John Wayne Gacy wasn't really a clown. He just used to dress up like a clown to befriend young boys he would later sexually abuse, brutally murder and bury under his house.

I quite like the idea of hiring a clown. I'm not sure what I'd do with a clown, but maybe it would be good to have one for a few hours and then just go around doing normal stuff like going to the supermarket or whatever, but with a clown. I don't think I'd want the clown to do much, I find clown acts a bit annoying, but I like the idea of hanging around with a clown. Maybe just sitting in a pub for a couple of hours on a Sunday, reading the paper. Me and my clown.

I like that the Clowns International website tells you who else is online:



The Clowns International magazine is called The Joey.

NAME BASE

www.namebase.com

It's a well known fact that some words, which sound innocuous in one language, sound funny in another. In the olden days, families used to sit around their television sets and weep with laughter as Esther Rantzen informed them that somewhere in the world, someone was eating Plopp. If Esther Rantzen did that joke now, I bet Mark Oaten's wife wouldn't find it very funny.

Lists like this are common all over the internet, and our fascination with amusing product names continues. Having said that, whilst the invention of the internet has helped feed our obsession, it has also no doubt contributed to killing off those brand names at the source.

In a global economy, a connected world, no-one wanting to launch a new product would risk becoming a laughing stock because of an ill considered name - though some, due to sheer corporate force combined with actually being a pretty decent product, manage to slip through.

That's where Namebase come in. They find names for new products. Sometimes they make up new words, or attack old ones. And, not only do they ensure your new name is free of negative connotations, they also seek positive associations and ease of pronunciation in major languages of business to make your name globally effective.

Namebase believes that your name is the base upon which you build your brand. That's why they're called Namebase. Because your name is the base upon which you build your brand. Namebase.

Their list of clients is quite impressive. Proctor & Gamble, Bic, Coca-Cola, IBM, Shell, Suzuki, Tropicana.

I can't help but feel they tried a bit harder for Coca-Cola than they did for Tropicana:

The Challenge:
Snapple was enjoying great success in the single-serve beverage category. Coca-Cola, with deeper distribution channels, saw an opportunity to take on Snapple and capture some market share. They had the formulation; all they needed was a name snappier than "Snapple"
Success:
FRUITOPIA was born. The coined word was wildly appealing to a young demographic, and Fruitopia went on to become a great international success for Coke.

OK, "Fruitopia". I've heard of that. It's memorable. Slightly annoying, but memorable.

The Challenge:
Tropicana Smoothie sales were sagging under the weight of an apparent disconnect between the Tropicana brand and dairy products. They needed a new name that would communicate the new non-dairy recipe.
The success:
In many cases, consumer packaged goods get only one chance to speak to the customer: from the shelf. Consumers must know immediately what the product is and why they should pick it up. Namebase took the "moo" out of smoothie! We helped Tropicana explore evocative and fanciful names. We thought the best solution was just to say what it is: Tropicana FRUIT SMOOTHIES. Through the use of a Namebase-inspired package design and a descriptive name, Tropicana is back in the smoothie business, stronger than ever?

"Fruit Smoothie"? That's rubbish. Surely the idiots at Tropicana could have come up with that themselves.

Namebase have developed some new pizza names for Domino's Pizza, although they haven't listed them on their website yet. That's got to be the best job in the world. "Hmmm, I think I need to try that one again. Still can't quite find the right name. Can you get another couple of slices? And maybe some potato wedges. And some Häagen-Dazs."

Though, no matter how carefully you check to make sure there are no negative connotations associated with the name you choose, there's no guarantee that will always be true:



Although it's quite unlikely there'd ever be a disease called FRUITOPIA.

PIZZA PASTA AND ITALIAN FOOD ASSOCIATION

http://www.papa.org.uk/

Welcome to papa.org.uk home of the Pizza, Pasta and Italian Food Association (PAPA).

Hold on. How did they get to PAPA? Pizza, Pasta and Italian Food Association - shouldn't that be PPIFA? Pizza, Pasta and Italian Food Association, surely. PPIFA. Not Pizza, Pasta and Italian Food Association.

The Pizza, Pasta & Italian Food Association (PAPA) was originally formed in 1977 as the Pizza Association, but changed its name to include pasta and Italian foods in the late 1980s. Today the association is the only formal trade body in the UK representing the broad pizza, pasta and Italian food and drink industry

OK, I can accept the Pizza Association calling itself PA. That's fine. Pizza Association. No problem. But if you then stick "Pasta and Italian Food" in between "Pizza" and "Association", you need to put PIF between the P and A. You can't just add another PA on the end. It doesn't work like that.

Anyway, unfortunately, lots of the links in the information centre are only available to PPIFA members. I'd be interested to read the code of practice for home delivery operators and drivers. Non-PPIFA members at least can read the fun pizza facts:

American Pizza Consumption
Americans eat approximately 100 acres of pizza EACH DAY, or about 350 slices per second. Each individual consumes about 23 lbs., or 46 slices, each year. Around 350 pizza slices are wolfed down across the States each second.

Apparently, each second, Americans eat around 350 slices of pizza. Around 350 slices of pizza are eaten by Americans every second.

Favourite Toppings
Americans prefer meat toppings to veggie toppings by a ratio of 62 to 100. Women order twice as many vegetable toppings than men.
America's favourite topping is pepperoni. 36 per cent of all pizza customers want their pizzas topped with pepperoni. US citizens consume around 251,770,000 pounds of pepperonis every year.

Least Favourite
The least favourite pizza topping is anchovies.

I like pepperoni and I like anchovies. I straddle the pizza divide. If there were more people like me, there'd be no war.

There's more to Italian food than just pizza though. The country is famous for its food. Thankfully, the PPIFA have a recipe page, so you can make some tasty traditional Italian food at home. Unfortunately, there's only one recipe so far. For a pizza omelette, which is an omelette with some pizza toppings:

Classic Toppings
Farmhouse - ham and mushroom. Hawaiian - ham and pineapple.
Vegetarian - green peppers, red onion, tomato, pineapple, mushroom and sweetcorn. Or something a bit more special
Meat feast - pepperoni, chicken, spicy beef, spicy pork and Cajun chicken.
Capricciosa - ham, roasted peppers, white anchovies, capers and olives.
Florentina – goat’s cheese, spinach and olives.

Is "meat feast" really a classic Italian pizza topping?